Pig Smoker in Paradise
BBQ, Recipes, Grilling and Resto
Take a Food Tour of the Usa for a Vacation With a Difference
0In the modern age, travel is such a large part of people’s everyday lives. In fact, given today’s fast-paced lifestyle, it’s hard to imagine that not so long ago, the idea of going on vacation was a rare luxury rather than a growing necessity. And, as the travel industry across the world has boomed, so too have the number of different types of vacations people in America are taking.
These days, holidays often revolve around a theme: skiing holidays in Lake Tahoe or Colorado are common, as are shopping holidays to some of America’s most famous malls. But, if you really want a travel experience with a difference, why not take a food tour of the United States – you’ll find a range of culinary delights available to tickle your taste-buds!
Take a trip to the Deep South on a food travel excursion and you’ll find a wealth of fine foods to sample and enjoy on your vacation. The culinary landscape of America’s southern states has always formed a large part of the lifestyle of its inhabitants; and if you’re embarking on a food tour of America, make sure you don’t miss out on its special and unique offerings!
Taste legendary American desserts, like Pecan Pie and Mississippi-Mud Pie, as well as authentic Kentucky fried chicken. Whether you’re in New Orleans, Atlanta or Austin, you’ll be able to sample some of the finest Cajun and Creole cuisine in the US, as well as partake in the long Soul Food tradition! From chitterlings (pig’s tripe) to Gumbo soup and Jambalay, food tourists in the Deep South are sure to enjoy an enriching vacation!
Anyone interested in embarking on food tours through the USA should also explore the culinary realms of New England on their excursions. From Massachusetts to Vermont, New England’s speciality foods are known for being simple yet high quality cuisine. For instance, New Haven boasts its reputation as the creator of the hamburger – and with a history that dates back to 1895, New Haven burgers are a must-have for any American food fan.
If you’re visiting Maine, make sure to sample Maine lobster – the state’s most famous export worth over $70 million a year. Legend has it that the lobster industry in the region was once so prosperous that lobster was even fed to chickens! And people visiting New England today will be able to taste this special lobster in one of the many roadside lobster shacks that adorn Maine’s coastline.
If you’re looking for more exciting destinations to visit on your trip around America’s greatest food spots, visit San Francisco during the San Francisco Crab Season, which boasts some of the worlds best crab markets and crab festivals annually from mid-November to June. Inspired by a range of immigrant communities, be sure to taste the region’s famous Dungeness crab, which is available in a variety of forms and flavours: from Italian dishes to Chinese and Vietnamese crab recipes, food lovers will adore the range of speciality crab dishes available in San Francisco during crab season!
While you’re in California, why not also sample some of the state’s local produce? Local farmers markets in California are well known for a range of foods, including artichoke, avocados, goat’s cheese and a range of other green produce. And why not indulge in some of California’s well-known Napa Valley wine while you’re on your food tour? You’ll experience the best wine and food the golden state has to offer – a pleasurable experience that is sure to round off your food tour of the USA nicely.
What to Eat In & Around Wrigley Field
0Synonymous with baseball is BBQ and beer. For avid sports fans hungry for the season’s excitement, Wrigley Field won’t let you down. The expansive concourse is lined with dozens of different food vendors that will satisfy any craving. Here are some of the best food stops we’ve found in and around Wrigley Field. Hopefully something here will make the ball game all the more enjoyable for you and your friends.
Hot Dogs
Before you dig into the game, dive into a juicy hot dog — but make sure it’s Chicago style. Like all of Chicago’s culinary traditions, this city favorite is piled with loads of toppings, like onions, relish and spices. Ask a Wrigley field usher and they will guide you towards the Italian beef specialty stand located along the third base line. If you’re feeling extra daring, try the beef and sausage combo. It’s sure to pack some heat.
Sandwiches & More
The stadium is known for its Wrigley Pig — a pulled pork sandwich that tastes better than most pub versions. If you’re in the mood for something other than pulled pork or polish sausage, surrounding the stadium is Wrigleyville. This city hub is well known for its various restaurants and entertainment venues. From upscale Italian to tangy Thai, Wrigleyville will get your appetite going for the big game.
Refreshments
No matter what you choose to eat inside the stadium, you have to wash it down with some Old Style beer, brewed by Wisconsin’s Pabst Brewing Company. For hardcore fans looking for some Cubs camaraderie, hitting up Bernie’s Outdoor Beer Garden is a must. Players are even known to stop by this Wrigleyville joint after a game.
Pub Food
As the largest cafe in the stadium, the Captain Morgan Club offers an assortment of salads, burgers and other bar style food. It opens daily at 10 am even for fans without tickets. Goose Island, a brewery located about four doors down from the ballpark, is famous for its specialty beers and greasy fare. Fans can agree, Goose Island is “very Chicago”, without being phony or fussy. Prepare for big crowds here after the game, so send Aunt Judy to save a table before the final stretch.
Pizza
Located right next to the Wrigley Field transit stop is Bacca Pizzeria. This place is perfect for ticket holders late to the game and need a quick bite before settling into the seats. Nothing too fancy, but oh-so enjoyable, Bacca’s is a family-run chain that offers a jumbo slice of pizza plus a free soda for only $3.50.
It’s A Home Run!
As every baseball lover knows, the ultimate ball-time experience includes the proper food assortment…even when you only want popcorn to toss into the air, or peanuts because you love the sound of crunchy shells beneath your shoes.
This article is presented by The Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago. The Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago offers Le Cordon Bleu culinary education classes and culinary training programs in Chicago, Illinois. To learn more about the class offerings, please visit Chefs.edu/Chicago for more information.
The jobs mentioned are examples of certain potential jobs, not a representation that these outcomes are more probable than others. The Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago does not guarantee employment or salary.
Where to Go Wining and Dining in Bangkok
0First-time visitors might find Bangkok a bit overwhelming, especially when finding a nice place to dine. A dizzying array of Bangkok restaurants is located around town, with all kinds of food imaginable. Most of the upscale places usually have an extensive menu of drinks so you can sip a glass of wine and dine on good food at the same time.
Praised for their remarkable services, sumptuous food and jaw-dropping views of the city and the bewitching Chao Phraya River, Sirocco (tel: +66 2 624 9999) on the 64th floor of the State Tower on Silom road and Vertigo (tel: +66 2 679 1200) on the 61st floor of Banyan Tree Hotel on Sathorn road are definitely two of the best rooftop venues in Bangkok.
Serving first-class Mediterranean and Italian cuisines respectively, Sirocco and Vertigo are always booked up so it’s a good idea to give them a call to reserve your table and secure your ultimate dining experience.
Rooftop bars are also available at these two venues, offering a wide range of very yummy but pricy cocktails and imported wines. If these places sound like they might burn a hole in your pocket, there are plenty of less expensive choices among Bangkok’s bars and pubs.
Thai cuisine is definitely a must try once you are in Thailand. Although you might claim to have tasted Thai dishes before in your home country, there’s nothing quite as fun as seeing your friend sweat like a pig after a spoonful of authentic, spicy tom yam kung in a Bangkok restaurant. Of course, you can always ask the cook to tone down the spiciness.
Typical Thai dishes can be found in every single local Bangkok restaurant across the city. However, those wishing to dine on Thai cuisine in an elegant style should try Baan Khanitha (tel: +66 2 675 4200) and Blue Elephant Cooking School & Restaurant (tel: +66 2 673 9353), both featuring royal, mild and garnished Thai dishes in a remarkable, upscale atmosphere.
Bangkok also has a full range of other Asian venues including Japanese, Chinese and Indian restaurants where you can eat. Japanese food lovers should try Tsu (tel: +66 2 656 7700) at JW Marriott Hotel and Keyaki at the Pan Pacific Hotel (tel: +66 2 632 9000), serving real Japanese food and fresh sashimi. Dim sum and other Chinese dishes can be found at the China House at the Oriental Hotel (tel: +66 2 659 9000) and at Bai Yun at the Banyan Tree Hotel (tel: +66 2 679 1200).
For those into spices and curries, Indus on Sukhumvit 26 (tel: +66 2 258 4900) and Royal Indian in the old town (tel: +66 2 221 6565) have an array of Indian dishes to please your palate, while live Indian music, silver-star services and scrumptious authentic Indian grub can be found at Rang Mahal at Rembrandt Hotel (tel: +66 2 261 7100) and Tandoor at Holiday Inn Hotel (tel: +66 2 238 4300).
Steak fans can also find a plenty of steakhouses in Bangkok however there are only a few worth trying. The most well-known for their mouthwatering yet pricy steaks is New York Steakhouse at JW Marriot Hotel (tel: +66 2 656 7700). For a family-styled steakhouse, try Great American Rib (tel: +66 2 258 5942) for its homey atmosphere and yummy ribs.
Italian cuisine is quite famous among locals and as a result, you can find Italian venues everywhere in the city. Some of the most notable ones include the 11-year-old Gianni Ristorante (tel: +66 2 252 1619) and Biscotti (tel: +66 2 255 5443) at the Four Seasons Hotel for their authentic Italian dishes with a creative twist. Meanwhile, Scoozi Pizzeria (tel: +66 2 391 5113) and Bella Napoli (tel: +66 2 259 0405) are famed for their pizzas and pastas.
If you want to find French food at a Bangkok restaurant, your best bet is to try one of the French eateries in the larger hotels. Bangkok’s old favourite is Le Normandie at the Oriental Bangkok Hotel (tel: +66 2 659 9000), while Le Vendôme (tel: +66 2 662 0530) on Sukhumvit 31 is a renowned newcomer and possibly the only good French venue not situated in a hotel. A few fine German restaurants are scattered around Bangkok. Bei Otto (tel: +66 2 262 0892), the oldest German restaurant in Bangkok, serves a wide range of German beers, bakery items and yummy German grub.
Even though most restaurants aren’t open into the early hours to serve starving party animals, you can always find countless street vendors with their mouthwatering street treats including BBQ chicken, meatballs and kebabs along Sukhumvit and Silom roads. Soi Nana (Sukhumvit soi 4) is very famous for its variety of tasty kebabs.
With a number of restaurants around town, no tourists will ever go hungry in Bangkok. You also don’t have to worry too much about your weight as there are so many things to do in Bangkok that you will burn your calories in a flash. By activities, we mean shopping, of course!
Redneck How-to Guide
0There seems to come a time in everyone’s journey down the highway of life that you reflect on your state of affairs and conclude that you’d like to become a redneck. As demonstrated by the armored car robber who used his loot to buy a house full of velvet Elvis paintings, money can’t take the redneck out of a man. But, can an outsider join the brotherhood of rednecks with a little studying, a mullet wig, and some cold hard cash? As we’ll see, the answer is “hell yeah!”
The first question we have to ask ourselves is “What exactly does it take to be a redneck?” Is it a part of your DNA or is it the way you part your hair? Is it a state of mind, or is it the state of Alabama? These are the questions that keep many redneck wanna-be’s up all night until the butt crack of dawn. But beyond these deep philosophical questions, what are the nuts and bolts of actually becoming a certified redneck? As the bumper sticker says, “What Would Bubba Do?”
Well, the first step down the road to redneckville is to visit the rednecks and learn their ways. Don’t worry, they won’t bite. So take your time to study their language, play their games, and drink their beer. Just don’t drink all of their beer, or they WILL bite. One of the best places to interact with rednecks in their native habitat is at the Summer Redneck Games, held annually since 1996 outside of Atlanta. Featured games include the Hubcap Hurl and Redneck Horseshoes, using of course a toilet seat as the horseshoe. And don’t miss their Bobbin’ for Pig’s Feet Fest.
Now that you’ve studied the redneck, you’re ready to put on a cut-off flannel shirt and try it yourself. Fortunately, entire industries have arisen to satisfy our redneck cravings. You won’t have to search long to find redneck books and videos, redneck auto and truck accessories, redneck apparel, and yes, redneck food. In the food category, you’ll find redneck cookbooks (think beer can chicken recipes), bacon flavored mints, exotic meats gift sets, and BBQ scented scratch-n-sniff undies. If, after feasting on all this, you’re feeling too lazy to take your truck four wheeling through the mud, you can use a product called Sprayonmud, so you’ll at least look like you’ve gone muddin’.
We’ll, you’re almost there. You just need a bit more practice in the redneck arts. So while you’re waiting for your mullet to grow, take in a midget wrestling match. Learn to play “Sweet Home Alabama” with your armpit and palm. Luckily, there is not just one path to becoming a redneck, but many.
Is Your Site A Rich Feast Or A Dogs Breakfast? Part 2 of 2
0Nice sizzle, shame about the sausage. Legendary St Kilda and
Hawthorn coach Allan “Yabby” Jeans summed it up in his famous
post game quote. All the PR, advertising spend and marketing
resources will only get you so far. The web junk yard is full of
sows ear clutch purses and polished turds.
Marketing in general suffers from a bolt on philosophy in many
organizations. A means of promoting a fait accompli. An
afterthought to be brought in at the conclusion of the product
cycle to stir up some hype and bundle it into a neat Powerpoint
presentation. In this environment then web marketing is often
the red headed step child of the marketing department. A bullet
point reference quickly glossed over and farmed off to the work
experience kid who knows a bit of Photoshop.
This is a mistake. A good snag can make a BBQ whereas a bad one
reminds everyone that it is really just ground meat in a pigs
intestine. Success requires a good recipe and involvement of
someone who has marketing interests at heart in the preparation
stage.
In the last issue I discussed the ingredients and encouraged
marketers to be honest in their initial review and goal setting.
Basically, (to continue the use of gratuitous sporting clichés),
to enter the metaphorical hall of mirrors and have a good hard
look at themselves, their website and the organization.
Hopefully this has now taken place and now suitably armed with
this information we can start to cook. Please note that this
article is very much a serving suggestion, much like the bananas
on the front of the Corn Flakes box, rather than a set of hard
and fast rules. Like all good recipes the best results can often
be delivered through adding your own little touches.
The Recipe.
Task 1 – Shell the eggs:
Remove any items that cannot be digested by search engines.
Specifically this includes…
• Remove any use of Frames on the site. Frames are a simple way
of allowing content on a page to scroll within the page
boundaries rather than requiring the entire page itself to
scroll. Frames are however search engine poison for the
following reasons.
* Content in frames cannot be book marked or linked to
* Search engines do not recognise the unified frameset and if it
catalogues the content at all it will index each frame as a
separate page leading to links to content without menus or menus
without content.
* Frames can look ugly and different browsers will display them
differently.
* Having to resort to frames generally illustrates an
organisational problem with the website. Proper use of a
database with a Content Management System (CMS) generally
eliminates the need for frames. It is generally better to split
long content over multiple pages (pagination) than have long
amounts of scrolling text within a frameset or otherwise. This
also gives search engines more pages to list and can help boost
your ranking for keywords contained within.
• Remove any text content that is contained within images or
Flash animations and replace with HTML text wherever possible.
Search engines cannot read Flash.
• If the menu is constructed or displayed using images, Flash or
JavaScript make sure that these menu links are also available as
HTML links somewhere else on the page. Generally the easiest way
to do this unobtrusively is to duplicate these items in the
footer at the bottom of the page. This allows search engines to
always be able to navigate around your site. Remember search
engines can’t read images, Flash or JavaScript.
• As much as possible bundle any JavaScript elements (commonly
used in rollovers and image maps) into Include files to be
called when required rather than requiring to be written into
the code of each page. This is probably going to require the
input of a developer and probably falls under the nice to have
rather than must have items.
Task 2 – Add Herbs and Spices:
The following are a list of simple things that can usually be
done quite quickly to a website to make it taste better to
search engines.
* Insert Heading tags. Search engines love tags as their
search algorithm rates content within these tags as being more
important than general text and ranks accordingly. Fill these
tags with the best keyword mix and make sure that different
pages have differing keyword variations. Best results come from
placing H1 as close as possible to the top of the page. Use
these wherever a heading or sub heading appears on site. If it
is important enough to place on its own line in bold then it
should be in a heading tag.
* Use relevant page titles (Title tags) and make them at least
slightly different for each page. Title should have 5 to 8 words
for best results. This should incorporate the highest priority
keywords for the particular page. (Prominence may vary if
doorway pages in use.). Note: If the title length is more than
75 characters, the extra characters may be cut in certain
browsers or systems (eg. Mac) and your listings may not have an
attractive look in search engine results.
* Place short relevant descriptive Alt tags on all click able
images (one or two words). Whilst search engines cannot read
images they can read the Alt tag that accompanies each image.
Alt tags display first prior to an image loading meaning that
they can be viewed and read irrespective of whether the image
accurately loads. Alt tags also display when a user mouses over
an image containing them providing more information regarding
the effect of clicking on a link and helping boost site
usability. Alt tags should only be used on links to avoid user
confusion over what are click able areas and what are not.
* Consider a relevant naming strategy for images on site. (eg.
enedia_melbourne_office.jpg not 00002.jpg)
Task 3 – Sprinkle site liberally with keywords:
Using the keyword list compiled via the techniques discussed in
the last issue the site copy should be re worked to accommodate
these wherever possible. From the Google Adwords and Overture
tools, plus a bit of common sense, you will be able to compile a
priority list. The trick is to saturate the site with these
keywords to appease search engines without making it unreadable
for humans. Additionally over optimised sites can be viewed by
search engines as spam and penalised accordingly. A few dos and
don’ts…
* Do: Try and include at least 200 words of searchable text on
your homepage plus any other common entry pages to your site.
* Do: Use plural and singular versions of key words. This helps
with your sites readability and covers your bases with search
engines.
* Do: Try and make relevant keywords link to other relevant
pages on site. Try and do this often but not to the extent that
it becomes confusing to users.
* Do: Incorporate geographic locators to narrow the
categorisation.
* Do: Use this keyword list as basis for defining page titles
and meta tags.
* Don’t: Never try and make text invisible to try and trick
search engines. Such action will either be picked up by the
search engine cataloguing process (eg. By checking the text
colour against the background colour in the code) or leave you
open to a complaint by a competitor. Either way your site and
your IP address could be black listed.
* Don’t: Never just list keywords on a page unless it is in a
menu. Such action can be regarded as spam and end up coming back
to bite you.
Task 3 – The Cooking:
In many ways the actual implementation strategies, timing and
follow up required will depend upon your business and the make
up and competitiveness of your market. Some industries, niche
markets and locations will be easier to secure than others or
require a differing mix. With such a horses for courses approach
then the following should be considered as suggestions only.
Sometimes you need Damien Oliver to ride the frisky nag round
the track whereas other times all you need is for Jamie Oliver
to make the horse edible.
* Always integrate the site to compliment other offline
marketing spend. List your URL in your Yellow Pages ad and link
to it in the electronic version. If possible set up a unique
landing page for arrivals from Yellow Pages (or any other
directory) so that you can track effectiveness in delivering
leads.
* Get your URL on everything that your company sends out. Search
engines deliver customers who don’t know you. Make sure those
that do come direct by making sure that your URL is always handy.
* Consider utalising third party campaign management and
analysis providers. Two of the main players in Australia are
Hitwise (www.hitwise.com.au) and Red Sheriff
(www.redsheriff.com.au). Both of these companies can provide a
range of valuable information. They do tend however to have
differing focuses. Hitwise tends to be more focused on
positioning as related to competitiors whereas Red Sheriff tends
to be more introspective and focuses on your site in isolation
(or at least only in comparison with any of your competitors who
also happen to use their tracking system). In the end the choice
will depend upon your individual requirements.
Using a third party can take a lot of the headache out of the
ongoing monitoring and maintenance of search engine marketing
campaigns. A company such as Hitwise can actually set up
programs for hundreds (or even thousands) of keyword
combinations and juggle the focus, targeting and advertising
spend for each. One of the most important parts of this is to
make sure that you are not paying for clicks for keywords on
which you are already getting a first page free listing. This
can vary over time and unless you are monitoring can slip
through unnoticed.
* Keep your content fresh. Only pigeons like stale bread and
they shit on statues. The more times your site is updated the
more likely that search engines will re index it and boost its
ranking. Frequent updates also encourage repeat patronage which
is important as web statistics indicate that few online
purchases are made on a visitors first visit to a web site.
Encourage engagement through web only specials, real discounts,
convenience (theirs not yours) and quick response times.
* Consider online advertising. The day of the banner ad being
the be all and end all of web marketing is long past, however it
does have its place. The key metric for online spend is now
skewed in favour of the advertiser. Rates are charged based on
click throughs rather than simply exposure. Care should be taken
that the wording of the ad and the positioning is such as to
deliver relevant referrals that are likely to engage with the
site and lead to a potential sale not simply dump traffic
looking for something else. You are paying for each arrival
after all. Using the search engine direct ad delivery services
(eg. Google AdSense) will more than likely help your site
positioning as well. Anecdotal evidence abounds regarding the
tendancy for a site to miraculously leap in free listings once a
paid ad campaign is purchased.
* Stir constantly. Make sure that your website statistics
indicate the most common keywords used to arrive at your site.
If it doesn’t then set up one that does. Review these statistics
in conjunction with the other keyword performance tools and
refine the keywords used on site accordingly.
Remember it can take several months before the full effects of
any search engine optimization overhaul can take effect. Whilst
investing in a pay per click campaign can have almost immediate
listing effects (assuming that you are prepared to spend to
maintain prominence) it is the combination of on and off site
techniques that will ensure success in the free listings. This
is where the majority of customer traffic will come from
Picking Up the Pieces
013 days
by admino
in Steak Resto
Picking Up the Pieces
This Alex Gottfried photo for a New York cover was rejected as “too glamorous”
Not everyone gets to read their obituary in the New York Times. Indeed not everyone gets a premature obituary in the Times. So I guess it was a triumph of sorts. I got fired and the paper of record actually cared. Friends from around the world saw the story and sent bracing words. I read it Wednesday morning with my heart pounding. Not exactly what I would have written myself but hey… almost totally kind. It was kind of a hoot. And a revelation. I never knew any editor objected to my choices of restaurants to review or chefs to pedestal. I just blithely danced away thinking if it interested me, the foodie audience would care and if I loved it, most of you would love it too. That same incurable… shall I call it confidence or vanity?
I do wish my critics and chroniclers weren’t quite so hung up on how many chefs or celebrities I bedded. (Funny way of putting it. Like who bedded whom?) But then clearly I brought that upon myself by being quite candid in my memoir. I thought it was amusing that I got led into the bedroom by the young and adorable Elvis Presley fifty years ago because I just happened to be the only woman in the hotel room at the moment of his between-concerts horniness. And that he asked me to order him a fried egg sandwich afterward.
The fact that I didn’t have the character to resist romantic dalliances with chefs while a restaurant critic has always seemed unprofessional and risky to me. But there are no secrets in the tight little food world. Oral personalities, you know. I thought it best to confess before I got outed. But if you consider that there were just three chefs and three restaurateurs in 40 years of reviewing restaurants, it doesn’t strike me as an addiction or a felony. I think it sounds as if I wasn’t trying hard enough.
I say thank heaven the Timesman Glenn Collins in his reportorial vigilance was able to reach Michael Batterberry the venerable historian of America’s dining revolution, creator with his wife Ariane of Food Arts and before that, founders of Food & Wine magazine. He put my unexpected forced retirement into historic perspective. “It’s as if they removed the lions from the library steps,” he said. Dearest Michael. And a toast to Robert Lape too for testifying that I haven’t lost my tastebuds or my bite.
I promise you won’t see me dancing with the stars.
***
No Lipstick on This Pig
A daunting assemblage of pig at the revised Irving Mill. Photo: Steven Richter
There are pig people and no-pig people. Personally, I don’t encounter many who are neutral about it in my crowd. When it comes to pigging out, it’s us and them, those who avoid pork out of faith, health, animal activism or fear of the unknown. It’s not that they won’t find sustenance on the menu at Irving Mill. I say, go in good health. Have the eggplant and ricotta bruschetta, the fluke crudo. Try sunchoke and hazelnut soup with grilled endive, the loup de mer with quinoa, walnuts and soy beans. I could easily go for the aristocratic chicken for two from Four Story Hill farm myself if I weren’t so distracted by so much porky creativity.
All three of us are swept up in Chef Ryan Skeen’s porcine obsession. “Oh God,” cries Ava. “It’s all pig. I’m having the pig ear salad.” Alas, we will not be tasting that cartilaginous crunch with radicchio, escarole and poached egg on top. It’s been “eighty-sixed”, the waitress informs us ruefully as if to say, “And don’t blame me.” I look around the room with new respect – Is this a pig ear salad crowd that’s beat us to it? I wonder.
Irving Mill plans to add new art and more color to this vast sweep of room. Photo: Steven Richter
I never got to Resto where Skeen plumbed his fetish. But now he’s stepped into John Fraser’s clogs at Irving Mill. And overnight, the place has gone from Gramercy Tavern-lite to urban barnyard. Spicy pulled pork sandwich – two little sliders on soft potato buns – are frankly the least of it. But deep-fried minced pork toast – think shrimp toast in Chinatown – with creamy egg salad and a lick of caviar on top is weird and wonderful. Falling off the bone salt and pepper ribs, first marinated in soy and chili and lime, then braised, fried and propped up in a soup bowl – are merely marvelous.
We must taste the house burger too. Already iconic on the food blogs, it’s a gently formed chunk of chopped flap steak larded with fat back, running-red-rare, under a melt of cheddar in another soft potato bun. In the bowl riding alongside, fingerlings make slightly soggy, puffy little fries and there’s a choice of ketchup, mayo and mustard.
The Road Food Warrior’s pappardelle with a sauce of rabbit, roasted tomato and fabulous black olives only seems to be a relief from the porky theme but it’s not, given a sprinkle of guanciale (cured pig jowl). It desperately needs more noodles to qualify as a pasta. And after the greediness of our warmup, my charcroute plate seems remarkably daunting. “I asked for the smaller $22 size,” I tell our savvy and agreeable server.
“You got it,” she says, setting down a tray with grainy mustard, crème fraîche and violet mustard (with the flavor and tint of wine must).
“You sure someone didn’t just throw on a few extras?”
“No, that’s how it comes,” she insists.
The delicious rabbit pappardelle needs more pasta and less soup. Photo: Steve Richter
Of course I have to taste a bit of everything – that’s my job (even if New York isn’t funding my research anymore). I start with a cut of boudin blanc and the mini blood sausage (a special passion of mine, best indulged in measured amounts, alas). And with scholarly precision, sample a melting bit of pig’s head, some pork shoulder, some meat torn from one of the ribs (another taste to test consistency never hurts). My favorite is the pig’s foot, boned, breaded and fried into compact wantonness. Even a side of kale is lush, cooked in wine and shallots rich with butter. Indeed, the macaroni and cheese with pork rinds is the only serious disappointment. It’s not the pork rinds I mind. Pasta ears in cheesy sludge is not my idea of macaroni.
Don’t skip dessert. Treat yourself to banana parfait and apple fritters. Photo: Steven Richter
What we all need now is a trot around the block but I feel obligated to try at least one dessert. A butterscotch blondie ice cream sundae with hot fudge, bourbon caramel and spiced walnuts seems to embrace enough sweet endings to tell the tale. “Fabulous” is the headline. And since Suzanne Vega, one of the three partners has spotted me, apple fritters and banana “cream pie parfait” has been forced upon us. I have never noticed pastry chef Colleen Grapes before, though she’s been making the rounds since her first assistant’s job at Aja under Gary Robbins, but her remarkable apple fritters – packaging whole circlets of apple with cinnamon ice cream, seem to deem her for stardom. And the banana parfait with roasted banana ice cream, coconut macaroons, vanilla custard and chocolate layered into a glass is even better. Suddenly it seems criminal to leave any behind.
I find myself recalling a table of women at La Côte Basque years ago, sharing a dessert and then spilling water on it to discourage a rupture in discipline.
I definitely have unfinished business at Irving Mill. The partners are planning more artwork, more color, a more contemporary look. As if I needed an excuse to come back beyond the lamb cassoulet with leg, loin and belly, possibly also bacon. Brunch begins this week too, and Skeen is mulling all the porky favorites plus baked eggs with truffle and pork caviar, an oyster BLT, and cream of wheat griddle cakes with huckleberry jam. I like the way his brain works.
116 East 16th Street between Irving Place and Park Avenue South. 212 254 1600
***
I’ll Bring the Turkey
Host Ed Schoenfeld contemplates Jacques Torres’ brilliant bird. Photo: Steven Richter
It’s not unusual for a New Yorker transplanted from somewhere else that friends are my family, the essential “we” of me, as my real family is scattered across the country. For the past few years our “family’ has joyfully let Eddie Schoenfeld choreograph and cook our Thanksgiving dinner. This year Eddie and wife Elisa expanded the congregants to three tables. Eddie did wings and drumsticks only, which was perfect for this mostly dark meat crowd. Eliza crowned an eclectic feast with prunes in port and crème fraiche, evoking memories of long ago great prune finales at Restaurant Troisgros.
Jacques Torres had asked if I would like a chocolate turkey. “Take it to your dinner,” he said, “and tell everyone it was made by Jacques Torres.” Late Wednesday afternoon, I stopped by his shop half a block from my office. The bird was huge and gorgeous, sculpted in dark chocolate, and actually looked like a three-dimensional Audubon. My guy and I had to take a taxi for fear someone would bump into it on the subway. At Eddie and Elisa’s I hid it in a closet so no innocent guest would sample the noggin before its debut. After dinner I set the gobbler on a beautiful Meissen platter and delivered it to Eddie. A few of the guests stood back awed. I had to break off the first piece. “Jacques Torres,” I said.
“Oh, of course, Jacques Torres,” someone echoed. Each small bite led to a second. Unlike all commercial chocolate turkeys I ever tasted, this one was made from chocolate worthy of Jacques Torres.
285 Amsterdam between 73rd and 74th Streets. 212 414 2462
***
Honor Thy Pasta
Dinner at Fiore always starts with a grilled thin crust pizzas… Photo Steven Richter
For forty years my life has pretty much revolved around dinner (with time out for dancing, sex and falling in love) so why would it change, especially at this, the foodiest time of the year?
On Saturday night we drove with friends to our beloved Fiore in Williamsburg, just four of us. We hadn’t been since late June when our good pals took their car and moved out to the lake for the summer. In Brooklyn no one seems to know I’ve been fired and I don’t have to be brave and pretend I’m okay. A hug from chef-owner Roberto Aita could be simply a welcome back. He puts us at a table against the door to the garden, right behind where he stands directing the kitchen from the pass-through. A waiter recites the specials. “Is it okay if I do a few antipastini for you?” Roberto asks. We nod.
It’s difficult to resist the hill of fried calamari and zucchini at Fiore. Photo: Steven Richter
It is wonderfully distracting to focus on pithy issues like whether Hillary should agree to become secretary of state and what we’ll do with Bill. We sip Roberto’s recommendation for a red by the glass, Negroamaro from Puglia, and discover we agree Hillary will be brilliant and half of us think Bill will behave. Two of us think Bill is the jewel in Hillary’s crown.
Roberto himself delivers the grilled pizza al formaggio with two cheeses, tomato and black pepper, really crisp and a nice happy medium between refined and abundant. Ava and I are planning to share the mushroom and roasted butternut squash salad – back on the menu now for autumn. And then it arrives, a plate for each of us, different than last year. Frisee makes it lighter. Roberto sets a bowl of intensely sauced braised baby octopus on the table and returns with a mountain of fried calamaretti and zucchini to a few groans. We had dared not speak its name but confess that we had all contemplated and rejected it – all that fat. Mere putty in the hands of fate, we devour it. As always, Tim seems pleased with a generous portion of fish, orata tonight. The Road Food Warrior sticks with his eternal favorite bucatini amatriciana. And Ava and I share the fine seafood pasta special.
As usual, no one wants dessert after the too-generous portions and extras that arrive in you-can- go-home-again style. But of course a trio of desserts descends. Chocolate and almond cake. A lemon tart. And smartly tart lemon sorbetto that turns out to be the perfect last taste.
284 Grand Street between Roebling and Havemeyer Street. Brooklyn 718 782 8222
Kitchen Design And Storage
0Critical to any kitchen design is the attention given to storage. How much cupboard space is enough? And is enough ever enough?
The minimalist will design his or her kitchen considering only the intended function of a kitchen: to prepare and serve meals. Said kitchens are designed only to store the tools necessary to such function. The minimalist will rue the day he shelved consideration of extra storage space.
A kitchen is unlike any other room in the house. While other rooms change to reflect changes in lifestyle – new couch, new lamps, new curtains — the kitchen grows with its owner, changes little, and brings a history with it. While I started out thirty years ago with a set of borrowed pots and pans and a mismatched set of yard sale cutlery, I have accumulated so much more, both voluntarily and by accident.
Fortunately, the initial owners of my home had the foresight to implement a kitchen design that accommodates these accidents of time. Ceiling high shelves, while rarely poked into, are the perfect spot for Christmas dishes, Grandmother’s set of old china, the children’s first dishes, my collection of college day beer steins, and some rather unique and unusual impulse purchases.
I mean, doesn’t everyone own a set of salt and pepper shakers shaped like a pig’s snout? Then there are the ‘theme’ dishes: apples, sunflowers, roosters. You name it, I’ve got it. Fortunately, I’ve also got a kitchen designed to take it.
Any kitchen design worth its snout in salt has to recognize that the kitchen is the main recipient of birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day and Christmas. Fondue sets, martini sets, cheese sets, candy making kits, cake decorating kits, all of those “I knew you’d love it,” end up in the kitchen.
Where do you put thirty years of recipe books? How many junk drawers can you fill in a lifetime? Then there are all those nifty little appliances: waffle makers, crock pots, sandwich makers, electric griddles, food processors, bread machines, and so on. And these are the things I don’t use…
Go ahead dig the Internet and you’re bound to find some fresh new designs for your kitchen that will fit your needs. It doesn’t have to be frustrating experience it can also be a lot of fun if you do your homework.
But no matter what remember this… Kitchen design — it has to begin with storage. Lots.
Holiday Arguments
0197 days
by admino
in Smoked Pig
Relationships have a point that all sane men fear: The annual holiday with the girlfriend. It goes without saying; The minute she (or her friends – whatever comes first) regard you two as a couple, demands for a fortnight for two away somewhere hot are guaranteed. And don’t even think of agreeing then putting it off somewhere down the line – she’ll be a fucking nightmare for the rest of the year. You HAVE to go on holiday.
BEFORE YOU GO
Time to make the booking. Your mates’ have all told you what an excellent time they had with their girlfriends in a villa on some Greek island. “Excellent” you think. Cheap booze and peace & quiet. However, she’s just read Cosmopolitan magazine and has other ideas. Kenya, for two weeks. In August. “In the name of Christ you fucking idiot” you implore. “Al Qaeda will skin us alive and feed us to hyenas. And it’s 65 fucking degrees and raining”. Her face twists until it resembles a dog’s arse. “You can stop bitching, ‘cos I’ve already made the booking. With your credit card”. Christ.
SATURDAY
7am: Wake Up: As far as this goes, this is prime time for blazing rows. Rows so big they can split the earth open. Predictably, she’s on blob week. “so no funny business like last time you filthy animal”. Sadly, this is just the beginning.
9am: Packing: Her tongue is sharpening by the minute. You’re taking 3 pairs of socks, 3 of pants, 1 pair of shorts and 6 t-shirts. “Six shirts?” she rants. “So I suppose I can’t take anything can I?” She flips the suitcase over in anger and storms up to the bathroom, crying. You take out 3 t-shirts & repack, to include her hairdryer, 10 pairs of identical shoes, and all the make up she’s ever bought.
10am: To The Airport: “We’re late, we’re late, we’re fucking laaate” She’s only just remembered you’re meant to be boarding at 9am, but she won’t check the tickets “In case it’s true”. You breathe deeply and count to 10. She’s never learned to drive because she can’t be bothered and she doesn’t read maps to get you to the airport quicker. You harbour images of her being sucked out the plane toilet at 20,000 feet.
11am: Airport: You arrive. Six fucking hours early. She’s still worried you’ll miss the flight. At check-in you bundle the 5 bags you’re carrying to the woman, stow away the parking tickets and keys, hold the bag full of women’s mags and her travel pillow, call your mate who’s feeding the cat, check the car booking for when you arrive, and notify the hotel in advance. All she’s got to look after are the passports. “Oh, I though you were doing it”. She glares at you. She knows she’s wrong but she’s not budging. Back home in the car, return to the airport with the documents. Still 3 hours to go.
6pm: On The Plane: “I’m not eating this shit. There’s no legroom. Can’t you move up a bit? Wish I could smoke. Those hostesses are fucking rude. This bloke behind me is winding me up”. All the things that were annoying you, now annoy you double, because she’s moaning about them. You can’t take it, “Look, for fuck’s sake. Just shut up will you? Please?” The high altitude leads to more tears. The pilot comes over & informs you that you’ll be arrested at the airport if you raise your voice again, while she quivers like you’ve just smacked shit out of her.
11:30pm: At The Hotel: Her eyes are red like a baboons arse, and she’s getting pricklier by the minute. She spies a cobweb in the room and screams. “There’s no fucking spiders, love” you try to calm her with. She shakes, “G-e-e-t m-e-ee o-u-u-ut of h-e-e-ere NOW!!!!” Downstairs, you spend an hour explaining that you’re saddled with a mad bitch and require alternative accommodation.
SUNDAY
7am: Breakfast: Come on, it’s a holiday. You need a lie-in, but she’s not interested. “Let’s have breakfast, we never have breakfast together”. You go down and chew on a stale bread roll and a black banana. “You wanted to come here” she retorts. You see red. 10 minutes later you’re banned from the dining room for blue language.
8pm: Local Nightclub: You go up to the bar to get a couple of drinks. It’s a shit nightclub, but for once she looks happy enough. On your return, she’s surrounded by 5 massive local lads. The stop talking and stare at you like shit on their shoe. “come on love, let’s go” you suggest. “Oh guys, this is my boyfriend” she says. One leans over and whispers “Your woman, I am going to fuck her tonight”. He grins and pulls his shirt back to reveal a machete. Once you escape with her, she thinks you’re a jealous racist. You wait until inside the taxi before you really let rip.
MONDAY
5pm: Hotel Bar: You’ve been gasping for a proper drink, and finally she makes up her mind that she wouldn’t mind one. You buy her a vodka and red bull and a pint of lager for yourself, and watch a veil of madness draw over her face. After 2 hours of lechery, giggling and unfunny innuendo, she gags on her 3rd drink and you spend the rest of the evening keeping her hair out of the toilet as she throws up. “You bastard” she says the next day. “How could you let me get that drunk?” “You only had 3!” you yell back. “Well that’s it. We’re not drinking until we get back”. She leaves it hanging in the air, itching for a row.
TUESDAY
12pm: At The Pool: At last, a chance to unwind. You’ve got the last 2 sunbeds, a cold drink and feel like nodding off for pleasantly for a couple of hours. You don’t even flinch when she says “Oh it’s too bloody hot. I told you I don’t like it too hot” ” Why don’t you go for a swim & leave me in peace, eh?” you offer. When you wake up an hour later, there’s a lad sitting next to you. “Christ mate” he nudges your arm with. “Have you seen that chick over there with her tits out? One minute she was on the Bacardi’s, next she’s giving it the Stringfellows routine!” She is standing on a table, stripping, with a group of builders egging her on. Later, she blames you. “I told you I dint’ like it hot. Why didn’t you stop me, you bastard? God, you hate me…” You raise your hand and the boy who was sitting beside you grabs it from behind. “Eh, this bloke giving you shit, love?” Chriiiist.
3pm: On The Beach: “If that’s what you want, my sweet.” is all you can say when she demands her sand time. It’s absolutely roasting down there and she cooks herself like a lamb shank. “Right, I’m going topless” is all she says. “If you get your fun bags out, it’s all over” you say. Moments later your face is wrapped in her bikini and she’s offered ice creams, bracelets and foot-rubs. “They’re sooo friendly here” she says. “You daft, blind slag” is all you can manage. 3 hours later, she tells you you’ve been using oil instead of protection cream. You now glow hotter than the sun and have melted the sand beneath you into glass.
WEDNESDAY
7am: Shopping: She gets it into her head that she wants to visit the ‘local’ flea market on the day you’re recovering from 3rd degree burns and sunstroke. It’s 4 and a half hours’ journey on an unventilated coach, every pothole is bringing uncontrollable outbursts of agony and nausea. You’re too weak to argue at this point, despite her looking over and tutting every 30 seconds. You need sympathy. You get 6 hours in a slum, with con-men selling hooky watches and driftwood ’sculptures’. “Come on pet” you plead. “This stuff is half the price on the resort, let’s get to a cafe”. “You ignorant pig” she replies, slapping your arm and making you gag. You estimate the national sentence for murder and weigh up your options.
6pm: Restaurant: “Eh, I’ll have the Ethethethes Methethetheses, grassy arse” she shouts as you shake your head with ingrained bitterness. You order egg and chips. There’s only 2 days left of this hell and you’re not spending it on porcelain. When her dinner arrives, it’s 2 bulls testicles, a goat’s eye with a horse’s dick through it and blue stallion sauce. “I can’t eat this, You’ll have to have it”. And with that she deftly swaps plates. The nausea returns as you battle to eat this car accident of a meal. You spend the next 2 days on the toilet squeezing out a drizzle of blood from your anus, while she complains about you being ‘unadventurous’. Too weak to argue, you reach for her toothbrush and dip it in.
SATURDAY
The Flight Back: “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. That’s the last time I go on holiday with you. I knew I should’ve gone to Magaluf with the girls. You actually enjoyed wasting my time and money, didn’t you?” It’s all or nothing now, and you let rip with a huge, primal scream. 20,000 feet below, chimpanzees return the cry. Lions wake up and roar at the sky. Birds leave their roosts and trees are split open. Oxygen masks fall from above. “Ooh, get you!” she replies. “I hope YOU’VE enjoyed yourself, you PRICK!”
3 DAYS LATER
You realise that you’ve been using the wrong toothbrush.
Demon Possession is it real or just a mental disorder
0743 days
by admino
in Smoked Pig
Just about everyone these days has heard about ‘ demon possession ‘, it was made a household name by the 1973 movie ‘ The Exorcist ‘, and again it has become popular after the 2005 movie ‘ The Exorcism Of Emily Rose ‘. To myself and thousands of others, we have known and believed in demon possession for a long time from another source, the Holy Bible. The Bible written in sections or books, some more than a couple thousand years ago, tells us all we need to know about demon possession and that it is a very real condition.
In this day and age, when you mention demons or demon possession, most folks laugh or joke about it. Do these same folks laugh and joke about the Holy Bible ? To laugh and joke about the belief of demons and demon possession, is the same as laughing and joking about the Holy Bible and the word of God. If you are a true Christian and you believe in the Holy Bible as being the divinely inspired word of God, then you should have no doubts about the existence of demons and demon possession.
What are demons ? Demons are supernatural beings with great power and knowledge, their knowledge comes from not just their high intelligence, but the fact that they have been alive since before the earth was created. They are often called or known as ‘ fallen angels ‘, in fact that is exactly what they are. When satan rebelled against God, he along with his followers, (1/3 rd of the angels of heaven), were cast out of the Third Heaven, where God’s throne and the actual city or place called Heaven currently exists. These ex-angels, now called ‘ demons ‘, were banished forever from the 3rd heaven where they once worshipped God and his son Jesus. Now for thousands of years, they have been condemned to live in what is called heavens 1 and 2, this area encompasses the planet earth, the sky above it, the stars, planets and the solar systems beyond it.
Demons are usually invisible in their natural state to the human eye, but they can take on any solid form they wish, and then we can see them. Demons can appear as wips of what looks like smoke, lasting only a few seconds, or at other times they look like fleeting shadows, often seen out of the corners of the eyes. They can take on any shape they choose, even an animal, they can appear solid or transparent and ghost-like.
What does the Bible tell us about demons and some of their abilities:
Demons seem to desire a body to possess or use as a host, like a parasite. It could be that when they were cast down from Heaven that they were changed into another form, or they just have a strong desire to control and cause as much trouble to humans as they possibly can. In ‘ Mark 5:12 ‘, when Jesus was exorcising demons from a possessed man, the demons spoke to Jesus and begged him, saying: ‘ Send us among the herd of pigs; allow us to go into them ‘.
Demons have great strength. In ‘ Luke 8:29 ‘, a man was possessed by demons, and while possessed he was able to break chains easily, the demons also made the man want to dwell among graves and lonely places.
The demons are responsible for many of the diseases and illnesses that people have. In ‘ Luke 11:14 ‘ , a man that had been mute and unable to speak, became able to speak normaly when Jesus removed a demon from him.
What are some causes of demon possession ? Sin. yes, sin is the cause or thing that leads to someone being controlled and ultimately possessed by demonic forces:
Abuse – Some folks claim they were abused as children, and this has brought them under the control of demons.
Occult Activity – Reading and trying spells and other things in occult books.
Spirit communication – Using an ouija board, channeling, or automatic writing, is an open door to demon possession.
Astrology and Fortune Telling – Using ones horoscope or visiting a fortune teller to know the future is wrong according to the bible, clearly a warning that demonic forces are involved with it.
Music and Movies – Movies and music can be fun and inspirational, but most of the movies today are very sinful. Todays movies are full of such sinful things as sexual encounters that are out of marriage or with the same sex, cussing or using Jesus’s name in vain, and there are numerous movies these days that show or try to let us think that dabbling with spells, sorcery and witchcraft are ok, when the Bible clearly says that any witchcraft or sorcery is wrong and can open the door to demon forces.
Sexual perversions – Pornography is very addicitve and often leads to more and more perverted sexual desires, such as same sex encounters and sex with animals which is growing more and more in todays perverted world, all of which is evil and wrong according to the Bible and Jesus. Demons can use these filthy and perverted desires to weaken our wills and mental states, until we allow them to enter us, and possess us.
There are many other activites and things that can ultimately lead to someone becoming possessed and controlled by demon forces, but the main cause is sin.
There are a lot of folks that say demon possession is just symptoms of either a mental illness or some other medical condition, or sickness. This can be true at times when the person does have a medical problem, but in a true case of demon possession, there will be signs or activity that NO sickness or disease can manifest, such as:
Knowledge of future events and hidden things – Demon possessed people have been known to gain a sudden knowledge about things that was never shared with others, or to even reveal future events that come true.
Superhuman strength – Possessed individuals have been known to break ropes, chains and other restraints with ease, and it often takes up to 4 full grown men to hold a demon possessed child down.
Speaking in unknown or strange languages – Demon possessed inviduals who have no prior knowledge of foreign languages have been known to start taking fluently in strange languages or foreign tongues, such as Aramaic, Latin and other languages.
Levitation and Psychic Powers – Demon possessed individuals have been known to levitate and hover in the air in front of other witnesses, or cause objects in the room to move by themselves.
Smells – Often in the presence of a demon possessed individual the surrounding air will become so horriblly smelling that folks will get sick, the smell has been described as the smell of cancer or death, or even sulphur.
Reaction to Holy relics or sacred items – Demon possessed individuals have been known to fear or even react violently to crosses, bible reading, holy water or other sacred relics and symbols. In one case of demon possession in pennsylvania in the early 1980s a young man, who was possessed had his head covered with a sack, so he could not see. He held his hands behind his back and a few different items were placed in his hands, when a cross was dropped into his hand, it burned his skin and became hot to others that touched it.
The best way to avoid demon activity and possession in your life is to avoid sin as much as possible. Read your bible as often as you can, go to a nice bible believing church, and most importantly, accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour, repent of your sins, and try not to sin like you did before your conversion.
As we are now living in what I call the ‘ End Times ‘, we will be seeing and hearing a lot more news about possession and demon activity. If you would like to know a lot more about the ‘ End Times ‘, and read some great Christian articles on such subjects as ‘Being Saved, Armageddon, The Rapture, and much more, visit the website: ‘ Signs Of The End Times ‘
http://www.rb59.com/end-times
By Robert W. Benjamin
Kids & Dogs – A Common Sense Approach
0746 days
by admino
in Smoked Pig
Statistics show the most bitten member of American society are children under the age of 12 and most dog bites causing serious injury involve medium to large sized dogs with children under the age of 5. The dog is usually known to the child or is the family’s pet.
To understand how these bites occur, what causes them and how to prevent them, a little education in the nature of dogs and the nature of small children will help shed some light on these aggressive behaviours.
A dog’s temperament is first inherited (this is deeply ingrained responses to the world surrounding them and is unchangeable), and then modified by events and/or proper training in his life.
Genetics: Some breeds and certain bloodlines within breeds are friendlier, more suited to living in a family environment, more tolerant with children and more adaptable to training. Most of their actions are instinctive. By default, a dog will react to situations according to what his instincts tell him unless these instincts are overridden by the consistent training and socialization he needs to receive from his owner throughout his life.
Some unscrupulous breeders who sometimes intentionally breed dogs without adequate knowledge of dog behaviour may use unsuitable dogs (i.e. those with poor temperaments) for breeding. These are dogs that are mentally unpredictable or have illness or physical defects that affect their behaviour.
A dog’s basic temperament, instincts and training have the biggest effects on how that dog reacts to the world around him and his levels of tolerance. Therefore, a responsible breeder should always put emphasis on good temperament when selecting breeding stock.
Past events & experiences with children: If your dog has had several painful or frightening encounters in the past with children, then he is probably going to be apprehensive around children, sometimes to the point of being aggressive. On the other hand, a well-socialised dog from an early age takes stressful and unusual situations in his own stride. Such dogs tend to be much less fearful of a busy family environment with noisy and unpredictable children around.
Here is one of the most commonly reported scenarios in a bite case:
A very young child sees a pretty dog he’d like to pet. The dog may not want to be petted. The dog’s first instinctive reaction is to show his displeasure by giving a warning — growling. The growl means that something more unpleasant will follow if the warning isn’t heeded.
Almost any dog will bite under the right circumstances.
A dog is an animal whose behaviour isn’t the same as humans and can’t always be predicted with 100 percent accuracy, no matter how friendly or reliable he is.
The type and number of warnings that a dog gives out can vary, few dogs actually will strike without giving some form of indication beforehand. When faced with a child in this situation, normally many dogs would just walk away. Walking away can be considered a form of warning.
If the child keeps trying to pet the dog, a sterner warning, usually a growl, will ensue. Other types of warnings can be more subtle – for instance, a stiffening of the body and showing of its teeth. Small children may not recognise this as a form of warning or understand what a growl means even though it may be quite obvious to an adult.
Dogs instinctively set up an invisible “fight or flight” boundary around themselves as their safety zone. The size of this boundary depends on his level of confidence and tolerance. A fearful dog will give itself a wider area than a more stable one.
When someone whom the dog perceives as threatening invades his area, the dog reacts either by running away or staying put to fight and defend itself no matter how afraid it might be. Some dogs will choose to fight first, rather than run.
A small child who keeps petting or hugging a dog has already intruded well within the dog’s flight or fight boundary. If the dog’s attempts to warn the child fail, the dog (in his mind) has no other recourse — he bites. This is a perfectly acceptable and instinctive behaviour to the dog. He is responding to what he perceives as a threat and is doing what his instincts tell him to.
Dogs do not think in the same way as humans do. A child’s innocent action, petting the dog, can often be provocation for a bite.
Don’t forget dogs have predatory instincts. Running, playing, screaming kids can trigger an instinctive predator-prey reaction in some dogs. Children who wrestle with dogs unknowingly encourage them to use their teeth and provoke a bite. Dogs equate this kind of play with littermates or other dogs where using teeth is allowed. Startling a sleeping dog or petting him when he’s eating can also bring about the same dangerous reaction from the dog.
Guidelines for families who already have a dog or are thinking of getting a dog for the children and what can be done to prevent dogs from attacking children:
* Take your time when looking for a dog. Research, do your homework, learn the differences in the various breeds and choose one that best suits your lifestyle and experience.
* Be honest with yourself about the amount of time and work you’re willing to invest in a dog. If you don’t have time to raise and train the dog properly, don’t get one.
* Consider postponing the purchase of a dog, especially a large one, until your children are at least 6 years old.
* Never leave any child under the age of 12 unattended with any dog or puppy. So keep supervision a strict rule in your household.
* Babies and toddlers should always be kept higher than the dog and keep your young children off the floor when there is a dog in the same room. This is to make sure that the dog (that sees the world in hierarchy) sees your children as a leader and not a littermate which it will boss around, push over, growl at and even bite.
* Educate and involve your children in your dog’s care even if they are small tasks – for example you child can instruct the dog to sit before you put the food bowl down, help brush and groom the dog with you holding the collar, attach 2 leashes to your dog so that you child can hold onto one too. This level of involvement from an early stage will help the dog build a positive association with your children.
* Avoid giving your dog items that it can get possessive over with children around such as pig’s ears, smoked bones, rawhide etc. It is very important to rain your dog to allow things to be taken away from his mouth by trading higher value treats for the item first.
* Obedience training and socialization are an absolute must for a dog that will be spending time with children. Remember that a dog will act according to his instincts if he doesn’t receive proper training or if that training isn’t kept up through regular practice. The dog needs to be taught to obey commands under all conditions no matter how distracting. Just as responding to the command to “come” could save the dog’s life someday, an immediate response to the command “leave it!” could save a child from serious injury.
* Children need to be taught how to be respectful to dogs. They need to learn what kinds of games are appropriate, how to touch the dog properly, how to interpret the dog’s body language and when the dog is not to be disturbed. Avoid wrestling, spanking, kicking, ear pulling, pony-riding, tug of war, fur grabbing, toy hitting, rough play and chasing.
* Telling the toddler to stay away from the dog just isn’t enough! Your children may be too young to understand, so it will be up to you to physically supervise them and protect them from potential harm. Remember that young children do not recognise when they may be in trouble. Adult supervision around children and dogs is absolutely critical. Small children should never, ever be left alone with any dog, no matter how reliable the dog has been before.
* Buy your dog from a reputable, responsible breeder who puts priority on good temperament and health and consistently produces dogs that excel in those areas. Choose a breeder who’s experienced and willing to guide and advise you about care and training throughout the dog’s life.
* Teach your children how to behave correctly and safely around dogs and to respect them. In order to promote a healthy relationship between your dog and your children, educate your children about the way they should treat a dog – for example dogs should be petted softly, stay away from food dishes, toys and bones and not to startle the dog especially when it’s sleeping.
* Remember that what your dog tolerates from your own children may not be tolerated from someone else’s. You need to take extra safety precautions when other children visit and make sure that the children obey your ground rules.